her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
