i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Couch. On fire.
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