ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
