Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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