I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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