Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Randomize
