Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
porn star boner night. come get it.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
