what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
