Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
