We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
