when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize