my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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