dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize