when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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