Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize