Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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