I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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