I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
