my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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