Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize