nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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