but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You ate ashes out of my bong
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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