remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize