seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
