I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
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