Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Randomize
