This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
