I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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