That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
