Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
