Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
The ass gains better be worth it
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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