how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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