Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
