I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
