all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
