So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
