So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
