Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
