You really coming over, don't trick.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize