im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
