Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
and she was petting her beer can
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
