Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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