Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Congratulations! We have a period
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
