He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
