Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
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