evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
