Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
