I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I got inside last night via doggy door
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize