Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I could make wine with my vomit
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
