make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
