Who did Billy Mays play for?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Holy sore nipples Batman
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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