it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
