Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
