She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
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