sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
