But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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